A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend

A successful man is one who makes more money 

than his wife can spend. 

A 

successful woman is 

one 

who can find such a man.

When you are courting a nice girl an 

hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot 

cinder a second seems like an hour. 

That's relativity

I have six locks on my door all in a row. 

When I go out, I lock every other one. 

I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, t

hey are always locking three.

People who think they know everything 
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.